White as Snow Eyes of Gold
by tazzledmuch
Summary: A outcast and sacastic verbal punchiing bag of high school kids and her mom. has a epic battles with an annoyin internet pop-up add and loses, thus getting forced ot answer a questionaire and and then slwallowed up by a pink vortex in phantom of the opera (2004 movie)
1. Chapter 1

TWILIGHT SAGA IS FOR WEENIES: PART 1

'Elli Hatchet's (POV)'

-Chapter ONE-

I lay in bed tossing and turning. I just couldn't fall asleep. My pillow that my head lay on felt like a brick and I was not happy.

I sat up forcing my eyes open. They were twitching like crazy and you could see that my eyes were bloodshot. I growled angrily, looking around and glaring about my room daring anything to just try and piss me off. To say that I was pissed would be an understatement. I was furious.

I lay back down muttering curse words under my breath. All of a sudden my seven pound orange haired Pomeranian 'Steve' got up from her place at the foot of my bed and sauntered toward me in slow motion. It took three whole minutes until she was an inch from my face and then WHAM! She leapt up onto my face and curled up into a ball making, herself quite comfortable as she lay down on my face as she suffocated me with her big fat fur.

I shoved Steve off the bed, just hard enough for her to fly into the wall. She slide slowly downward off the wall and fell to the floor unconscious.

All of a sudden my bedroom door opened and my mom turned on my light. I really did not want to deal with her right now, but I guess I didn't really have a choice now did I. ever since my step dad had left us mom had become a moody bitch.

"Get up! Now! Elizabeth and cook me breakfast twerp!" my mom yanked my covers off me and pulled me by my hair.

"Ouch! Give me a break why don't yah!" I said pulling my hair out of my mother's grasp, "I'm up! I'm up!"

She stomped back toward my door and then turned to face me, "if you are not dressed and downstairs in five minutes I will send you to live on the street!" with that she left my room slamming my bedroom door behind her, "and take the dog out!"

"up yours!" I shouted after her. I then flopped back onto my bed and look around the room and sighed. I really missed how my mom used to be, before my stepdad left us and she became a lazy violent slob, who I had clean up after, cook for, and pay the bills since she refused to.

Before my step dad Kyle, ditched us to run away to be with his cousin Nora. He always had been there for me and my mom. I've almost completely forgotten how many good times the three of us used to have. Then my mom started treating me like crap and the rest they say is history.


	2. Chapter 2

-Chapter TWO -

I'm really glad it's the weekend. If it was not I'd have to put up with everyone in the big bad place called high school. No one likes me. They were all jerks who couldn't find anything better to do than make up retarded stories about my insignificant life.

It gets boring at school way too quickly. Not to my liking. My only friend at school is arm, which I either use to sleep upon in class while I dream of something awesome or to swat away many unwanted bubble invaders who just want to say something entirely rude and unintelligent.

But today luckily is not one of those days. I've already cooked my mom breakfast, let the dog out. My only friend is my dog Steve. Sad isn't it. Well the orange fuzz-ball has grown on me somewhat even if she's chewing on my dirty black sock, which she got from my laundry basket.

"STEVE! Unhand the sock you hold captive!" I say rolling my eyes. But Steve didn't seem to hear me or so I thought. That was until she dropped the sock from her slobbering mouth and turned to face me. She only face me for about two seconds with a happy look on her face as her eyes shone with amusement and then she wobbled back toward the sock and began gnawing on it again. "that's right Steve… just keep enjoying yourself… don't listen to me… Nnooooo…" I mutter under my breath. "Now time to surf the internet."

I got out my laptop from its hiding spot under my bed. I really need to clean down there sometime. It's kind gross how I notice a bunch of junk food remains and garbage under there. I mean really there's about five pizza boxes and a whole bunch of candy wrappers and junk food that is going bad. It's a wonder why i haven't gained a pound anywhere yet.

But hey! I'm only sixteen; I'll do all the healthy eating later in life. For now it's just time to enjoy the rest of my teen years while can. God knows what I'll be doing when I'm twenty.

But that's too far ahead for my brain to think about right now. I might actually give myself a headache in the process.

I open the laptop and go onto the internet. All of a sudden an annoying internet add popped up onto the screen in front of me. i closed it only for it to pop up again. And so started my battle with the internet add. I finally admitted I'd lost and decided to read what it said. It wanted to ask me what would be my ideal fictional fantasy adventure.

These were the questions.

What fictional movie world would you rather go Into?

The phantom of the opera (2004 movie)

The lord of the rings trilogy

Treasure Planet

(or) Harry Potter

I immediately decided to click on the phantom of the opera. It couldn't hurt could it? Now for the next question.

If you were to have a singing voice which singer would you like to most sound like if you sing?

The lead girl singer of evanessence

The lead girl singer of flyleaf

The lead girl singer of paramore

(or) enya

I decided if it was even possible to be sent in poto then I'd rather sound like enya. Okay moving on.

If you were to to have a certain eye color and hair color, what would it be?

Wavy Snow White hair with gold eyes

Wavy Black hair with electric purple eyes

Wavy dark chestnut brown hair with hazel eyes

(or) wavy auburn hair with aquamarine eyes

I chose option a. because I already have snow white hair and gold colored eyes and I like that look. And so the last two questions.

If you were to end up with any guy in the movie, who would it be?

The fop aka Raul

Erik the phantom of the opera

Yourself even though you're not a guy.

Who cares about love, love? What the hell is love? I'll just bring a chainsaw and go on a killing spree and kill off all the unimportant characters.

I snickered to myself. That was hilarious. But er… no I think I'll leave my chainsaw at home and I definably don't want to fall in love. I'm enough. I mean I'm not the type of girl to go frolicking into romance. I don't flow that way. It's not my style. I think I'll pass.

So I pressed the answer button, but something weird happen a huge gust of wind blew from my laptop and into my face. It messed up my hair but… I don't really care.

A swirly pink vortex appeared on the screen and pulled me into it like a snake eating a mouse alive. Oh my taco! "I really hate pink…" I muttered as I fell thru a pink cloud slowly falling downwards.

I shouldn't of answered those questions, but on second thought it gets me away from my cranky mom and everyone else that I don't have the patience to deal with. That's a plus.


	3. Chapter 3

I opened my eyes then sat up and looked around. Everything looked like it came right out of the eighteen hundred, Old and ancient and ghastly. Apparently I had been laying on an overly detailed tile floor.

I suddenly heard what sounded like a cow giving birth, I would know that voice anywhere, it sounded like Carlotta from phantom of the opera. Then it dawned on me as I saw a stern looking woman with a braid on the top of her pointy looking head heading straight for me.

Oh no Madam Giry! I thought quickly. I started to cry. Tears flew out of my eyes in every direction. Though that was probably because I was holding onto a bowl of chopped onions. and my Pomeranian was sitting on my head.

Oh god! It burns!

I quickly set the bowl of onions down. And tilted my head at madam giry who was now walked in slow motion towards magical me. and Steve fell off my head, onto her face, on the floor.

**ME: I feel like I'm back at the green dragon, with a mug of ale after a hard day's work. **

**MERRY: only you've never done a hard day's pip.**

**PIPPIN: hey! You stole my scene, why did you let her merry!**

**MERRY: ?**

**PIPPIN: (gasps) she's even wearing the exact same outfit I do! Give me back my ale! Merry why do you side with her. **

**MERRY: I didn't say anything pip! She just appeared out of nowhere surrounded with glitter dressed as the goblin king. But I couldn't stop her merry she had even threatened to hit me with a shiny glass ball while she rummaged thru you pack. She put on your spare clothes pip! She's even wearing your friendship bracelet I gave you when we kids. **

**PiPPIN: and you let her?! (a single tear falls from his eye and he sniffles.) **

**MERRY: I didn't have a choice, when I tried to stop her again she pulled out a flame thrower and burnt my hair to a crisp, (signifies to the loss of hair on his head) **

**PIPPIN: oh! So that's why you suddenly became bald when I came back from feasting on some bacon I got from sauromon's kitchen closet. **

**MERRY: is there any left?**

**PIPPIN: no I ate it all after you broke my heart… **


	4. the real chapter 3

_**SORRY! the third chapter was kind of me goofing off this is the real version of the third chapter... thanks for the patience:) i havn't had any inspriration for writing in a while.**_

**The REAL! CHAPTER Three!**

I groaned and sat up. my head felt like a horse sat on it. i'm glad one didn't, but man my head hurt.

i wasn't so sure where i was for a moment, but the stage i was sitting on kind of reminded me of the phantom of the opera 2004 movie. heh! i guess the that annoying internet add wasn't spam after all.

i felt like i was sitting on someone... "get off me! you toad..." said a screeching voice. man! whoever that was sure sounded like a dying walrus...

i knew that i should prabably be polite and say sorry but i wasn't in the mood...

i looked down and frowned, oh my gawd! it was carlotta. i feel very dirty. remind me to wash my ass from the filth it had to sit on. my poor helpless butt.

i got up and stretched, "i'm so glad this dying Moose was here to prevent my death... it's too bad it had to be you, you sound like Big Bird! moosey!"

i looked around me everyone one in the theater was shocked, huh? i guess no one ever stood up to big bird before.

"YOU! you ungrateful! little toad! no one messes with the great and beautiful carlotta!" she stomped over to me and raises her hand in the air to slap me. but i was too quick.

i grabbed big bird's arm and twisted it, "never try to slap me! You HONKING GOOSE!"

'time to teach this squealing swine some manners...' i thought to myself i began to use carlotta's hand to make her slap herself... "how does it feel bird brain.." i laughed "does it feel nice!"

"someone!" Big Bird squaked loudly, "make her stop! the beautiful carlotta can take no more!"

i'd like to say her demands had been ignored and i was able to torture the canadian goose some more, but andre and firmin just had to crush my dream...

"madame! please... i must ask you to stop at once!?" mister andre said pleading for the squaking parrots life...

i turned toward him and muttered darkly, "why... the hell should i stop... that overgrown hedgehog is a spoiled brat, and brats must pay!"

"that may be so!" began firmin, " but she is our lead singer for hannibal..."

"fine but i personally think a curly brunnette chorus girl with big brown doe eyes could sing it, christine daae has some god given talent, not this carnival clown!" i said loudly, carlotta stomped away carrying her little yapping white dog... i saluted her smirking... bon boyage Elmo!

"you must be joking" said andre and firmin together... "a chorus girl don't be silly."

madam giry stepped foward and gave a brief stern mildly humored look, she can't deny it she thinks i'm awsome... of coarse i am how can i not be? COUGH! only joking.

"let her sing it missur, she has been well tought..." the ballet mistress said firmly.

"a chorus girl!?" firmin complained, "don't be silly!"

"who tought you?" andre asked christine sounding interested...

i rolled my eyes, christine looked overly afraid. she is going to sing or else, cause i don't want the phantom to swing from a vine and hang me with a noose. he should be grateful i'm helping her get this far. personally i don't like how someone can fear someone just for his face. looks don't matter. christine should grow a pair. oh... wait she's not a guy... my baaaddd!

"i don't know his name missur..." said christine in a teeny tiny voice, huh? mabye she's related to mickey mouse. god i hate disney land... it's a small world after all. that ride scares me...

"alright... christine is it?" said firmin why, "why don't you start at the top."

christine stepped into positon, if only i had some popcorn and a camera.

then she sang and i put in ear plugs. not because she sounded bad just to be an ass.

_**Think of me, think of me fondly **_

_**When we've said goodbye**_

_**Remember me once in a while**_

_**Please promise me, you'll try  
Then you'll find that once again you long**_

_**To take your heart back and be free**_

_**If you'll ever find a moment**_

_**Spare a thought for me**_

Then out of nowhere everything faded and the scene changed out of nowhere. just joking! i got to stay at the opera populaire as a female stage hand. and i was helping with the set, cause i'm stronger than i look and right now is opening night. let's check up on mickey mouse... eh hem... christine is doing shall we?

_**We never said our love was evergreen**_

_**Or as unchanging as the sea**_

_**But if you can still remember**_

_**Stop and think of me  
Think of all the things**_

_**We've shared and seen**_

_**Don't think about the way**_

_**Things might have been  
Think of me, think of me waking**_

_**Silent and resigned**_

_**Imagine me trying too hard**_

_**To put you from my mind  
Recall those days,**_

_**look back on all those times**_

_**Think of those things**_

_**we'll never do**_

_**There will never be a day**_

_**When I won't think of you**_

i hate to admit it but she sounded great... better than emmy rossum did in the movie.. oh wait... this is the movie, i'm just in it.

just as a suspected prince charming fop-a-lot is starting to sing.

_**Can it be? Can it be Christine?**_

_**Bravo  
Long ago, it seems so long ago**_

_**How young and innocent we were**_

_**She may not remember me**_

_**But I remember her**_

because this was the movie i could hear him sing. he left his seat singing loudly like a fop alway's does. i wonder if raoul realizes that his hair is very feminine. "GIRL MAN!"

i sang loudly. but no one paid me much attention. they were too busy going gaga over the new lead suprano. oh i wish she's hurry up!

_**Flowers fade, **_

_**the fruits of summer fade**_

_**They have their seasons,**_

_**so do we**_

_**But please promise me that sometimes**_

_**You will think of me  
**_

the crowd apploaded and gave lady gaga a standing ovation, oh wait christine. sorry...

and that was my cue to finish my stage hand dueties and head to bed. i slept in the same room as meg and christine. sucks for me. but it's not like i can sleep in the same room as the stage hand.. apparently i'm a girl...

yeah... i don't think i would wwant them rowdy stage hands to be my roomies, i good snoozing in meg giry's and princess sparkle butts room.

END OF CHAPTER


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